While Rodney worries about what a muscular man named Biffo is going to do to him after a drunken Rodney stole his trumpet, which Albert has subsequently thrown down the rubbish chute, Del Boy goes to church to seek forgiveness for some stolen goods he has recently purchased, though he doesn't say what they were. The parish priest explains to Del how the local hospice is facing closure. Whilst there, the two are witnesses to a miracle: a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary on the altar appears to be weeping. Del instantly senses an opportunity to make money and save the hospice, and tells Rodney to alert the media. Within days, reporters and cameramen from all over the world are in Peckham to cover the story. Del presents himself as a modern day prophet, predicting when the statue will weep again.
A few weeks later, after several more miracles, enough money is raised to save the local hospice. It then suddenly dawns on the priest that the miracles always occur when it is raining. Upon inspecting the church's roof, he finds that all of the lead tiles are missing. Only then does it emerge that those lead tiles were the stolen goods Del had come to confess over, but he points out that the money raised from the resulting "miracle" did save the local hospice. The priest, much Del's surprise, merely blesses him for doing it.
As they exit the church, Del and Rodney shake hands with the many reporters and cameramen, until Rodney finds out that he's shaking the hand of Biffo, who demands to know where his trumpet is. Rodney tries talking his way out of it, but then runs away with Biffo giving chase. Del Boy takes advantage of it by offering the reporters and cameramen a chance to film the chase, as long as they pay Del in return.
Writer: John Sullivan
Director: Mandie Fletcher
Producer: Ray Butt
Duration: 30 minutes
Airdate: September 7, 1986
Audience: 14.2 million
- The idea for the script goes all the way back five years earlier to "The Second Time Around", where Grandad told Rodney about how Del used to donate to the church roof fund.
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